robloxcreepypastafandomcom-20200222-history
Talk:PR0J3C74B4ND0N3D/@comment-36086332-20180705092849
My Rating Grammar: 2/10 First of all, the sentence "I introduce myself once again as ButtonMash987 as an Roblox player." has an improper "an". You only use "an" if the start of the next letter is a vowel. All of "How I met him" has no obvious errors. And then the sentence "Things we're getting weird." the "we're" should be a "were". When Josh said "Yeah i got a friend request from some guy." the I should be capitalized. The sentence "It was my Roblox character being hanged." should have "hanged" replaced with "hung" instead. The sentence "I again shutted down my computer and went to eat some lunch." should have the word "shut" instead of "shutted". The sentence "I can be paranoid, but i see him in my goddamn dreams." should have the uncapitalized i capitalized, and, I think it makes more sense with the "can" being replaced with "can't". The sentence "And i saw that i was playing a game." needs every "i" capitalized. The sentence "He made an long Obby." shouldn't have "obby" capitalized, and the "an" should be an "a". Almost all of 5/7/15 is just a block of text. The sentence "When i finished 10th stage an picture flashed." should have the "i" capitalized and the "an" should be replaced with "a". For the sentence "It was my Roblox character being hanged again but the people around it dead." "hanged" should be "hung". The sentence "When i beated 15th stage another picture flashed and it was me standing around the dead Robloxians body and me eating the flash from them." let's cue the big one, the "i" should be capitalized. You also should have said something like "Stage 15". A comma should be after "flashed". "body" should be "bodies". Unless you are talking about you somehow eating Adobe Flash from their bodies, "flash" should be "flesh". In this sentence "I approached him and he said "you can't help me already. you have abandoned me. you have tortured me. i wanted to kill you. but as soon as possible. i'll be back." " After each period, the first letter of the words after them should be capitalized. In the sentence "My computer shutted down and i heard a ringing.", "shutted" should be "shut", the "i" should be capitalized, and "ringing" should be "ring". In the sentence "HEY AM BACK" ''there should be an "I" between "HEY" and "AM". In the sentence "'dont turn AWAY FROM me" The words "AWAY" and "FROM" shouldn't be capitalized.''' Plot: 1/10 This story is literally filled with almost every cliche, might as well make this detailed too. Name having numbers assigned to letters cliche. Numbers and letters cliche X2. Numbers and letters cliche X3. Character attempting to get into real life cliche. Can't leave cliche. No people in the game cliche. Distorted thing cliche. Can't take a screenshot cliche. Think something is a glitch even though it obviously isn't to get to the fun to write creepy stuff quickly cliche. Something happens to your character that you can't change cliche. Blood cliche. Computer shuts down somehow cliche. Blood cliche x2. Hanging cliche. People liking that your dead cliche. Person who creepypasta is about acting as if they are being tortured or something cliche. Creepypasta center acting like person who is writing it is an antagonist cliche. Creepypasta center somehow finding where he lives and coming to him in real life cliche. Creepypasta center seems to take over his writing at the end of the creepypasta cliche. How long it took for me to realize how bad it was: 1/10 Overall Rating, what you all wanted: 4/30 Well, you have a lot of work to do, I wish you luck.